Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Negative Nancy or Rachel Reality?

This time I know I’m right. It was a bull shit thing to say. Not lady like, I realize, but I don’t have any other way of stating it… it was a bullshit thing to say. It was born of tiredness and stress… got that. Doesn’t make me feel any better. So here it is and The Man is asleep and I’m stewing. How come they can sleep? I can’t. I stew. Admittedly I asked it be tabled until tomorrow… when being grouchy wouldn’t come into play, but that doesn’t mean I’m sleeping. Don’t get me wrong.. it’s cool they can sleep, I just sort of marvel over that difference. Anyhow.
We have always been on the same page. Reality is your friend. Rose colored glasses are only worn by those scared of facing reality. Reality means acknowledging all of the things about Italy that suck. For real.
Garbage filling the streets.
Buildings that look a lot like Central DC.
Burning garbage that stinks.
Appliances that don’t work…. Ever.
Pollution that makes you marvel over the area being open to Military.
Water that literally has toxic waste.
A crap school.
The people suck for anything other than chatting.
And let’s not even talk about the driving.
Okay. We joke. We make fun. We acknowledge it’s grossness. It’s how we cope.
I made a joke tonight and was informed that we have a long time here and that we needed to be positive about it. Huh. Okay. It wasn’t said nicely… it was filled with biting annoyance. Wow. Got it. I’m negative. Not reality based, negative.. Bullshit thing to say.
I also frequently mention:
That I love this house, despite cleaning it.
I love our view from the patio.
I love the view I wake up to.
I love chatting with the people.
I love the Country side.
I love the sunset.
I love the breeze.
I love everything we have learned here and I wouldn’t take it back.
That covers a few on both sides. See what I mean? Reality is looking at everything. He’s always agreed. When people said I was horrible for not just looking at the great things, I called it reality. He agreed. Only now, guess what? No no… they were right, I’m negative. I need to be positive to make this work. And He wonders why I’d take that personally.
Okay… so show me so many great things then that it’s all I see. Or tell me it was a bullshit thing to say. I’m not interested in it being twisted into meaning something it didn’t mean.
Want to know what I wonder? Will He wake up tomorrow and say it was bullshit? Or does He expect me to lie and stop saying what I think?


~sidenote, written on an old computer and I can't fix the font! So if it looks funny~Sorry!!

4 comments:

  1. I'm sorry you're having a hard time. Perspective is everything. I hope things look brighter tomorrow!

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  2. Bless your heart!! I'm so glad you have so many wonderful things in your life! I like joking too... it's how I cope also... Most of the time S gets it... every once in a while he doesn't ... he sometimes gets his panties in a twist but we get over it as fast as it started.

    Also... things look way worse in the night than they do the next morning... I guess we can be glad that they do go to sleep... if they stayed up like we to and waller in it, we'd probably get way more punishment spanks!!

    BTW... your fonts look fine! ;^)

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  3. Yeah, I stew too. Have gotten midnight spankings before (ow!) because I started making noise and arguing and wanting to talk instead of sleep.

    Sounds like he's not considering everything positive you have said. You are trying to balance it but he is sensitive to what you don't like. He takes it personally? Yes?

    I bet you guys work it out soon...

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