Monday, August 15, 2011


So I'm on FB and someone posted one of those things. You know the things I'm speaking of.... the cartoon of a fifties wife saying something really witty, like, "Toss your hopes and individuality in here." While pointing to the washing machine. There were others cracking on how it's thanks to Valium that she can be such a great wife. On and On and isn't it hilarious.

I hate those things. I hate the idea that is constantly sold to us, as women, that we can not be happy as a wife, as a mother. I hate the idea that was propagated to me, and that I bought into, that I had to be something more in order to be fulfilled.

I was in constant conflict because all I wanted to be was a wife and a mother, and that meant that I didn't want to be enough. I hated the desire within to be a submissive wife because that's an idea that is openly scoffed at and ridiculed.

You have to be strong and independent and in charge. You have to keep yourself emotionally protected, even from, especially from, your husband. Being submissive in any environment is not acceptable, but especially not in marriage. It means you are a doormat. It means you aren't interesting. It means you aren't happy, but rather plodding along in misery. And most important of all, is that men don't want a submissive wife because they are all of those things. Who wants to be married to a doormat? What's interesting and stimulating about that? Men want a challenge! Men respect you for screaming, er I mean, telling them how wrong they are all of the time, and showing them how right you are all of the time. Really, that's how it works.

Chasing vapors... that's what the Man calls it. Those moments when I think, when I fall back on the idea, that I might be... omg... gasp... boring. I mean I just do what He tells me to do. I just ask questions when He's making a decision and then I let it go when He decides. I don't argue with Him. I don't get mad at Him, I just...... trust Him. I must be boring. I must be a doormat. I must be a shell of a woman. Really, everyone says so! It must be true!

Only He doesn't think I'm boring. He thinks I'm wonderful. He thinks the trust and faith I put in Him make Him a better Man. Being submissive and obedient to Him, makes me the most wonderful woman in the world, in His eyes. The most interesting. The one He wants by His side in all things.

I used to struggle with giving in, in part, because I was scared of not being that head strong, wild, impulsive, independent woman. Actually, I was keen on getting rid of her, but I was scared He would think I was boring. Even though it was all I really wanted.... what if it meant that I wasn't enough? Only in His eyes, me being just me.... submissive, dependant, obedient, doesn't make me less, it is in fact, the very thing that makes me more.


  1. Great post. Submitting doesn’t make you weak, it shows you are strong! ! !

  2. Very well put! I agree on all counts! My husband may not love me more now that we do ttwd, but he surely enjoys me more... in nearly every way! Good for you!! **applause**

  3. Dragon's Rose~ I agree whole heartedly it takes a lot of strength to submit. It's funny how that idea gets completely messed up. It's easy to be selfish, it's hard to be submissive... somehow people miss that! The hard things though are the one's that bring the greatest joy!

    Mikki~ Thank you again! Yep... and the more He enjoys you, the more loving he is to you, in turn it makes you desire being more enjoyable for him and so the circle goes!

  4. "You have to keep yourself emotionally protected, even from your husband."
    How true Candy! I think so many women miss that. By protecting yourself from your husband you are not allowing *real* and *deep* love to flourish. Being "on guard" must also take a lot of effort, but by submitting to a man we can trust and who knows our vulnerable side and cherishes that, we can actually relax a little. Yes, submitting DOES take effort, but then we get the reward of relaxing in love. I think it gets easier too, doesn't it? Too bad others don't see this. I am also a happy wife and stay at home mom. It was what I always wanted, and my husband fulfilled my dream. I just love this post! -Elysia

  5. Elysia~ I've often said "it's the hardest easiest thing I've ever done." Make sense of that! LOL. But it is because it's so hard to let go and go there, and yet once there, everything flows so easily.